stormy days

Twenty one days into Christmas and I'm not feeling the spirit just yet. And it doesn't help that I'm in Manila. These days, home would be chillingly cold. I think I’m beginning to miss that. And to think I was whining my way into Manila just last week. Although Christmas carols steadily drift from LRT station radios, there isn’t that feeling of excitement or anticipation. In fact, I’ve gotten into a very sullen mood.

But today was slightly better. This morning, I went to Ateneo to help out at Task Force Noah, the relief operations organized by some staff and faculty members and some organizations in the university. Since I woke up early for a supposed company orientation (which I did not attend because of the still alanganin weather), I texted Choy AtSCA’s president this year to ask how Task Force Noah was going. He told me that AtSCAns were helping out and that they’d go today at 8 am. At the spur of the moment, I rushed to Loyola House of Studies. I had to do this. Just a little contribution to my foster family in Gabaldon, N.E. and others who have been afflicted by the super typhoons Winnie and Yoyong.

We sorted clothes, packed rice, carried heavy sacks of food packs and plastic bags full of clothes. The atmosphere in the TF Noah headquarters was intense but joyful. You could feel the urgency of the matter and people worked fast, but there is still a sense of fun. People liked what they were doing. Volunteers of all ages were arriving. There were even kids whom parents or ates and kuyas brought along presumably to be exposed to doing things like this. By luchtime the LHS lobby was full of goods but fuller with people who wanted to lend a hand. Choy and I exited knowing they could handle things already and thinking the operations will be more organized and efficient if there were fewer volunteers.

Lunchtime, I met with Toni and we chatted for 2 hrs. I missed how we can talk nonstop about anything but more so, how we can talk about the important things. In those two hours we managed to talk about weight loss, job fulfillment, love and relationships, going for it, the future and education—their facets we haven’t discussed before. Talking with Toni is like eating a pint of ice cream or receiving a really big hug (which she gives truly well by the way). She's my favorite ToniBear. * (^.^) Grin*

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How the hell could I imagine what to say if I ever see you, but fail to deliver when I finally do? When will I break free of this torpe rut that spills over to so many aspects of my life. Life sucks when you’re not brave enough.