reunion

I figured I had to do it. I had to face him again so I would know what the score was. I went hoping for a sign. I arrived staring at a billboard. Natural. That's what they are. And honest. Honest as a mother breast-feeding her baby. Honest as the rains surrendering to the earth.

The first seconds were the throat-clearing, shirt-straightening, beer opening, and chair shuffling stage. I was late, as usual. In all things, I am. Things quickly returned to their original pace and still, that honesty.

I felt different, I felt like the villain. But my throat did not tighten, my fists did not clench, my jaws remained the same. No. In fact, I was smiling. But I guess I had that faraway look like I was remembering something and trying to forget it at the same time. He hasn't changed much. But the picture in front of me was different. Now there was someone with him to reciprocate. And the image was so natural, so true. She excelled where I failed. She is what she is and I...I do not know who I am.

The night wound on and I was truly apperciating every moment perhaps becasue there in the middle of talks about bar destinations, TV shows, heart operations, and high school memories, I knew I would go into my zone out mode to say good-bye as I should have done years ago. Goood-bye you guys. It's been great, all those ten years. But I don't want to taint your perfect world any longer.