Love is wanting to be loved

I know I can be fucking annoying sometimes but that is only a function of my care and concern. And I'm tired of talking to walls and being told to lay off. I've been given this treatment by a brother, a pseudo-lover, a friend. Even if people tell me, "hayaan mo na yung mga taong pinagtatabuyan ka," I still have this nagging feeling that the way to be of help is not to back down but to blast through their closed off hearts and go all in even if it's humiliating. I'm not gonna apologize for who I am. Dammit, I will hug you even if you flail your arms in disgust and anger.

But then again, the reason I might be doing this is not because they need me or any help for that matter, but because I need to reach out and be with them. And it's a need they cannot and might not ever fulfill and I have got to accept that, move on, and focus my energies on people who appreciate my presence in their lives--those who allow me to care for them because they realize I want and need to, it's also for my well-being, and that I can't live otherwise. 

This got me thinking of a movie I watched some 5 years ago. The subplot proposal scene got me: 

People need time and space. I will give these to them not because I don't think it's bollocks, I do, but because I deserve to be in others' who want me to be there.