...because in the hope of expressing my subjectivity, i had actually objectified myself and that ain't good
...because i'm choosing to share my mania only with people who really matter, and, instead of writing, i wanna do it through ways that are more practical and concrete
...because i've got to live my life not think about it
thank you for keeping up with me through my five-year blog. here's to you seeing me and me seeing you.
1.08.2010
12.22.2009
mental exercises of the sleepless kind: meditations on photography and portraiture
i have been playing with the camera for about three years now. photography occupies my waking hours, my dream-state and even my subconscious. somehow, there is something so attractive in capturing meaning in 1/125th of a second wherein other people or other elements tell a story and you just have to be there, observe, stand back and act at the right moment. no grappling for words, no worries of misinterpretation. just a decision to click or not to click.
this is not to say that photography is the easier tool of communication. no, practitioners in the field know very well that a good photograph not only requires voluntary action of carpal muscles to be good. it asks from the photographer skill, technique, adeptness, astuteness and most of all, decisiveness. making decisions seems easy. after all, when the opportunity presents itself, it only takes less than a second to do your job. however, it is precisely that fleetingness of moment coupled with the possibility of affecting the natural flow of human movement and reaction by that single obtrusive lens that makes someone hesitate and lose the photo. there will always be a photo that got away.
french photographer Henri-Cartier Bresson once said, "photographers deal in things which are continually vanishing and when they have vanished there is no contrivance on earth which can make them come back again." therein lies the beauty of the perfect shot. it is perfect precisely because the moment can never be repeated and you are overwhelmed by an extreme gladness that you took the risk and squeezed the trigger.
in many ways, i think photography is like hunting and hunting especially in the olden times, is necessary for the preservation of life. photography then is a tool for the preservation of the human race. it aims to document, to make immortal the mundane, the extraordinary, every single thing that shows how it is to be truly human and alive.
this is very apparent in taking street photos. the slight movement of the hand, a certain tilting of the body, a movement of the hair, a person's position vis-a-vis a billboard sign, mirror images that last a few seconds only to be erased by the surge of human interaction--everything has meaning in time and space.
i often try to shoot incognito. there is something so appealing in being able to capture people in their most uninhibited and natural states. there's something truthful and pure about it. however, portraits have interested me lately. i have done only one portrait that i like, and as i look at it again and again, the more i realize the importance of that particular shot. photographing people who know you are photographing them, and doing it well gives another kind of gratification. in those few minutes that you fumble and hesitate and decide to take the shot, you become the recipient of the subject's 'subjectivity.' in those instances, he slowly becomes whom he wants you to know. he introduces himself, he shows you what he is and what he is not and you become the humble recipient of his personhood--at least the part he is willing to reveal. and you also give. you give yourself in your quiet goadings, your affirmations, and the moment you choose to take the shot. as a photographer, you too are visible and exposed. it's an intimate exchange, like friendship, like love.
many people hate to have their pictures taken; they say it's like stealing their souls. i too squirm in front of the lens. maybe herein lies the beauty of taking portraits. you no longer feel like an outsider looking in. you do not feel like a thief. you and the subject are both consensual entities in the creative process of capturing the human soul. and i say, as with natural unposed photos, there is also truth and purity in that.
i have been playing with the camera for about three years now. photography occupies my waking hours, my dream-state and even my subconscious. somehow, there is something so attractive in capturing meaning in 1/125th of a second wherein other people or other elements tell a story and you just have to be there, observe, stand back and act at the right moment. no grappling for words, no worries of misinterpretation. just a decision to click or not to click.
this is not to say that photography is the easier tool of communication. no, practitioners in the field know very well that a good photograph not only requires voluntary action of carpal muscles to be good. it asks from the photographer skill, technique, adeptness, astuteness and most of all, decisiveness. making decisions seems easy. after all, when the opportunity presents itself, it only takes less than a second to do your job. however, it is precisely that fleetingness of moment coupled with the possibility of affecting the natural flow of human movement and reaction by that single obtrusive lens that makes someone hesitate and lose the photo. there will always be a photo that got away.
french photographer Henri-Cartier Bresson once said, "photographers deal in things which are continually vanishing and when they have vanished there is no contrivance on earth which can make them come back again." therein lies the beauty of the perfect shot. it is perfect precisely because the moment can never be repeated and you are overwhelmed by an extreme gladness that you took the risk and squeezed the trigger.
in many ways, i think photography is like hunting and hunting especially in the olden times, is necessary for the preservation of life. photography then is a tool for the preservation of the human race. it aims to document, to make immortal the mundane, the extraordinary, every single thing that shows how it is to be truly human and alive.
this is very apparent in taking street photos. the slight movement of the hand, a certain tilting of the body, a movement of the hair, a person's position vis-a-vis a billboard sign, mirror images that last a few seconds only to be erased by the surge of human interaction--everything has meaning in time and space.
i often try to shoot incognito. there is something so appealing in being able to capture people in their most uninhibited and natural states. there's something truthful and pure about it. however, portraits have interested me lately. i have done only one portrait that i like, and as i look at it again and again, the more i realize the importance of that particular shot. photographing people who know you are photographing them, and doing it well gives another kind of gratification. in those few minutes that you fumble and hesitate and decide to take the shot, you become the recipient of the subject's 'subjectivity.' in those instances, he slowly becomes whom he wants you to know. he introduces himself, he shows you what he is and what he is not and you become the humble recipient of his personhood--at least the part he is willing to reveal. and you also give. you give yourself in your quiet goadings, your affirmations, and the moment you choose to take the shot. as a photographer, you too are visible and exposed. it's an intimate exchange, like friendship, like love.
many people hate to have their pictures taken; they say it's like stealing their souls. i too squirm in front of the lens. maybe herein lies the beauty of taking portraits. you no longer feel like an outsider looking in. you do not feel like a thief. you and the subject are both consensual entities in the creative process of capturing the human soul. and i say, as with natural unposed photos, there is also truth and purity in that.
12.21.2009
shoe mania
i chose these because the brand is pretty durable and a many swear by their dependability. two hours, three hours, they're okay. but i can't stand their stuffiness for long periods of time. people say i should be patient, that i'm still breaking them in, that i'll get used to them somehow.
but i miss my old shoes. they fit me perfectly and i don't get annoying blisters. i searched everywhere just to be able to buy the same pair but the company says they're phased out, for real, final answer.
maybe i should just buy another pair of shoes that look very much like my old ones. something like this:
or should i just try my luck with another kind which looks plain, simple, and uncomplicated like this one:
i bought myself a pair of these, coz i needed new shoes and they were on sale...
i chose these because the brand is pretty durable and a many swear by their dependability. two hours, three hours, they're okay. but i can't stand their stuffiness for long periods of time. people say i should be patient, that i'm still breaking them in, that i'll get used to them somehow.but i miss my old shoes. they fit me perfectly and i don't get annoying blisters. i searched everywhere just to be able to buy the same pair but the company says they're phased out, for real, final answer.
maybe i should just buy another pair of shoes that look very much like my old ones. something like this:
or should i just try my luck with another kind which looks plain, simple, and uncomplicated like this one:
but then again, just the other week, i came across these espadrilles that look fun and crazy in a very relaxed sort of way. and i must say, they got me all excited. maybe i should just get myself one pair of these instead. i'll even be contributing to charity with each pair bought.
i'm thinking, i'm thinking, i'm thinking...oh boy, this is haaaaard.
12.18.2009
romanced by memories of the future
why do these things keep popping up on my internet face these days? out-of-the-blue, milan forwarded me an article by my dear college lit teacher ms. rica bolipata-santos. as usual, it's a good read. i'm feeling the powers that be is concocting another laugh-your-guts-out-till-you-pass-out-and-die comedic act. read the artik here. in other news...
why do these things keep popping up on my internet face these days? out-of-the-blue, milan forwarded me an article by my dear college lit teacher ms. rica bolipata-santos. as usual, it's a good read. i'm feeling the powers that be is concocting another laugh-your-guts-out-till-you-pass-out-and-die comedic act. read the artik here. in other news...
itaga mo sa touchstone, tutugtugin kita! yebbah!
12.17.2009
12.16.2009
12.15.2009
good news monday
a few months ago, my flatmates and i were talking about weddings and i remember blurting out that if i were to get married, i'd like to be registered at R.O.X. or at Victorinox so i'd get all the goodies i had been so kilig about for the longest time. besides, why do newlyweds have to have only kitchen utensils and home wares? who needs five rice cookers and a lot of starter sets right? i'd rather have one of those only and a closetful of windbreakers, footwear and a mean set of heavy duty knives.
well just this evening, my flatmate marielle came home and i told her a bit about the de guia family exhibit that i went to at LRI (read: luzon rattan industries) building, the couches, daybeds, side chairs, tables, trinkets i was crushing over. she shared the interiors of a little cute place at maginghawa called "van gogh is bipolar" that she and lex visited earlier. and then i tipped her on this very cozy korean cafe along taft that my brother lloyd treated me at. and so went our exhanges of gush-able places. marielle was about to go into her cocoon when she stopped in the middle of the stairway and told me, as an afterthought, the best news i've had for a long time: R.O.X. already has a bridal registry!!! yehey. nevermind that that piece of information is not relevant to me now. Haha. it's definitely something to look forward to when and if i do get hitched!
a few months ago, my flatmates and i were talking about weddings and i remember blurting out that if i were to get married, i'd like to be registered at R.O.X. or at Victorinox so i'd get all the goodies i had been so kilig about for the longest time. besides, why do newlyweds have to have only kitchen utensils and home wares? who needs five rice cookers and a lot of starter sets right? i'd rather have one of those only and a closetful of windbreakers, footwear and a mean set of heavy duty knives.
well just this evening, my flatmate marielle came home and i told her a bit about the de guia family exhibit that i went to at LRI (read: luzon rattan industries) building, the couches, daybeds, side chairs, tables, trinkets i was crushing over. she shared the interiors of a little cute place at maginghawa called "van gogh is bipolar" that she and lex visited earlier. and then i tipped her on this very cozy korean cafe along taft that my brother lloyd treated me at. and so went our exhanges of gush-able places. marielle was about to go into her cocoon when she stopped in the middle of the stairway and told me, as an afterthought, the best news i've had for a long time: R.O.X. already has a bridal registry!!! yehey. nevermind that that piece of information is not relevant to me now. Haha. it's definitely something to look forward to when and if i do get hitched!
12.13.2009
aliiiiiw!!!
i'm not really a cartoon person. when i was younger, i watched g.i.joe, rainbow brite, arthur and some other kiddie shows but i was never a cartoon fanatic. as an adult i still enjoy disney and pixar movies (i looove finding nemo) and appreciate the simpsons and hey arnold but i don't download and collect full seasons of them. the other night, i was listlessly staring at the telly while lani was watching her staple cartoon network when i realized what was transpiring before my very eyes. the powerpuff girls were doing a beatles episode! i've never laughed out loud watching a cartoon in ages. lani must've thought i'd gone bonkers. watch the video above and then check out another upload of it with a very comprehensive annotation of references. man, that really made my day!
i'm not really a cartoon person. when i was younger, i watched g.i.joe, rainbow brite, arthur and some other kiddie shows but i was never a cartoon fanatic. as an adult i still enjoy disney and pixar movies (i looove finding nemo) and appreciate the simpsons and hey arnold but i don't download and collect full seasons of them. the other night, i was listlessly staring at the telly while lani was watching her staple cartoon network when i realized what was transpiring before my very eyes. the powerpuff girls were doing a beatles episode! i've never laughed out loud watching a cartoon in ages. lani must've thought i'd gone bonkers. watch the video above and then check out another upload of it with a very comprehensive annotation of references. man, that really made my day!
12.04.2009
atrium fascinarium
creating an atrium inside a large but narrow city apartment to divide the living room and dining area and to open up the space and bring in more light? brilliant. i love it. this particular house is a bit too resort-like for my taste but i'm liking the atrium idea a lot. i'm such a sucker for interiors that soak in the exterior atmosphere. article and more photos here.
creating an atrium inside a large but narrow city apartment to divide the living room and dining area and to open up the space and bring in more light? brilliant. i love it. this particular house is a bit too resort-like for my taste but i'm liking the atrium idea a lot. i'm such a sucker for interiors that soak in the exterior atmosphere. article and more photos here.
12.01.2009
Once More, the Minister
And cogon grass grows and bows, and then grows some more
To bow some more, and the air feels like it’s January
And maybe it is. It has always been this way:
Between the moment heard and the moment recognized as song,
We always have some sad distance to go. It appears then the uncertain,
The fog-thought void always between us and the palpable lush
Should be looked upon as if we had no fear of fault, as if
We had a whole country to pier our regrets,
As if in the constant practice of this gaze,
We lose all expectation for song
11.30.2009
11.27.2009
accident-prone
some people tend to lose things. i tend to ruin them. in fact, for the longet time, my family nicknamed me the ilocano term for "klutz." i break things, i burn electrical appliances, i put in loads of iodized salt into a large bubbling pot of champorado mistaking it for sugar, i slip onto a very stinky gutter creating scars on my legs, i bump into a parked scooter while playing, toppling it over and smashing the side mirrors in the process (parked! nananahimik ang motor dun for crying out loud). yup, i do those kinds of things all right.
as i was growing up, those incidents became rarer. the nickname was dropped. in a span of a month though, my laptop crashed, my DLSR slipped from my hand onto a cliff and i watched calmly as it rolled five times on a 45-degree hard concrete, plus my phone just went bust. nice. just when i'm still broke.
i realized then that the klutzy side of me never went away. my recent losses had just taken in another form. and now i try to live with the things i have destroyed due, for the most part, to neglect. and it's depressing. i'm tired of living such an improvisational life. i've had it with accepting life as it happens. i say it's time to say no to getting by!
i don't know but something's happening. i think the times call for me to take care--take care of my material possessions, my health, my time, my work, my relationships. just take care. the routine of consciously trying to protect the things that are important to me has befallen me. and i'm glad about it.
somebody's finally growing up.
some people tend to lose things. i tend to ruin them. in fact, for the longet time, my family nicknamed me the ilocano term for "klutz." i break things, i burn electrical appliances, i put in loads of iodized salt into a large bubbling pot of champorado mistaking it for sugar, i slip onto a very stinky gutter creating scars on my legs, i bump into a parked scooter while playing, toppling it over and smashing the side mirrors in the process (parked! nananahimik ang motor dun for crying out loud). yup, i do those kinds of things all right.
as i was growing up, those incidents became rarer. the nickname was dropped. in a span of a month though, my laptop crashed, my DLSR slipped from my hand onto a cliff and i watched calmly as it rolled five times on a 45-degree hard concrete, plus my phone just went bust. nice. just when i'm still broke.
i realized then that the klutzy side of me never went away. my recent losses had just taken in another form. and now i try to live with the things i have destroyed due, for the most part, to neglect. and it's depressing. i'm tired of living such an improvisational life. i've had it with accepting life as it happens. i say it's time to say no to getting by!
i don't know but something's happening. i think the times call for me to take care--take care of my material possessions, my health, my time, my work, my relationships. just take care. the routine of consciously trying to protect the things that are important to me has befallen me. and i'm glad about it.
somebody's finally growing up.
11.26.2009
motherfucking bastards.
i sympathize with the writers who are tasked or simply take it upon themselves to write about the election-related massacre in maguindanao. although i have been shaking with rage since monday, i am at a loss for words. i won't even try to come up with a decent piece about it because one, i am too shocked to be rational, two, my opinion does not really matter much in the larger scheme of things, and three, there's just too much questions left unanswered and i don't know a substantial lot about the situation.
what i know and what i hate the most is this: that whoever is responsible for this fucking carnage has just set the consolidation of this democracy back decades. imagine the work done by hundreds of filipinos just to make things right in this country. every single day they toil and devote themselves as freedom fighters, humanitarians, media personnel, development workers, peace-keepers and then this thing happens. i myself, with my very miniscule contribution to the human enterprise am appalled, disgusted and frustrated. what could those who spent all their entire lives working for this nation be thinking and feeling at this moment? does what we do really matter? does this system really work? is there even a point for fighting for what we believe in--upholding everyone's human dignity in whichever way we can?
the brutality by which the killings had been perpetuated itself does not only place us back to the nazi era of totalitarianism but even negates all human rational thought. all those brainwork and formulation of philosophies by the greats have all gone down the drain. this is not at all human. during sleepless nights when i imagine myself to be in the crime scene, i have this irrepressible urge to vomit. what could have been going on in the minds of the killers? were they even lucid? when they raped the women and mutilated organs, took out eyes and chopped off body parts, did they do these mechanically as if they were zombies or was there hellish fire in their eyes? i can only imagine the deathly silence that could have hovered over all of them--both perpetrators and victims--despite the cries and whimpers and gunshots and hacking sound of blades on bone and flesh. this is evil in the purest form.
and what for? who will gain from all of this? the stupidity of all clues pointing to the ampatuans is too simple to be true. i believe there is a web and network of motives that even extends to national and maybe even international politics. is this just a shock tactic for the current administration to extend power with the ampatuans, the mangdadatus, the whole of maguindanao, the mediamen and hapless civilians as collateral damages? or is this the handiwork of another group altogether that wishes to tip the balance of power to their side by capitalizing on public rage? the brazenness of this bestiality is so enraging especially because it is but a tool for a larger agenda and that they are so sure that they can get away with it. there's just too much lack of information, too many cover-ups. trust this incident to be one of those that will go down into history as one of the the unsolvable political enigmas in the likes of the ninoy assassination. i have a feeling that published images and stories would just gather dust in the collective consciousness of the filipino people for decades to come. i think the masterminds are certain of this. and that's what's so fucked up about it.
tonight while trying to assuage my restlessness, i was talking to a photojournalist friend on ym and we were discussing how someone we know from nujp was following a story in the area and was supposed to be in that ill-fated convoy but due to some fortunate incident had not made it to the party and was spared. but he, who apparently is being hunted by the ampatuans, is now back there heeding the call of his profession. i am gathering stories like these in my head to summon the courage to do the same in mine. and so went our conversation:
me: parang ang helpless lang kasi nating lahat. ano pa bang puwede nating gawin sa ganito?
pj friend: ang tanging puwede lang natin gawin ay huwag tumigil.
me: haaaay...tama ka diyan.
me: padayon.
pj friend: padayon.
may god help us all.
i sympathize with the writers who are tasked or simply take it upon themselves to write about the election-related massacre in maguindanao. although i have been shaking with rage since monday, i am at a loss for words. i won't even try to come up with a decent piece about it because one, i am too shocked to be rational, two, my opinion does not really matter much in the larger scheme of things, and three, there's just too much questions left unanswered and i don't know a substantial lot about the situation.
what i know and what i hate the most is this: that whoever is responsible for this fucking carnage has just set the consolidation of this democracy back decades. imagine the work done by hundreds of filipinos just to make things right in this country. every single day they toil and devote themselves as freedom fighters, humanitarians, media personnel, development workers, peace-keepers and then this thing happens. i myself, with my very miniscule contribution to the human enterprise am appalled, disgusted and frustrated. what could those who spent all their entire lives working for this nation be thinking and feeling at this moment? does what we do really matter? does this system really work? is there even a point for fighting for what we believe in--upholding everyone's human dignity in whichever way we can?
the brutality by which the killings had been perpetuated itself does not only place us back to the nazi era of totalitarianism but even negates all human rational thought. all those brainwork and formulation of philosophies by the greats have all gone down the drain. this is not at all human. during sleepless nights when i imagine myself to be in the crime scene, i have this irrepressible urge to vomit. what could have been going on in the minds of the killers? were they even lucid? when they raped the women and mutilated organs, took out eyes and chopped off body parts, did they do these mechanically as if they were zombies or was there hellish fire in their eyes? i can only imagine the deathly silence that could have hovered over all of them--both perpetrators and victims--despite the cries and whimpers and gunshots and hacking sound of blades on bone and flesh. this is evil in the purest form.
and what for? who will gain from all of this? the stupidity of all clues pointing to the ampatuans is too simple to be true. i believe there is a web and network of motives that even extends to national and maybe even international politics. is this just a shock tactic for the current administration to extend power with the ampatuans, the mangdadatus, the whole of maguindanao, the mediamen and hapless civilians as collateral damages? or is this the handiwork of another group altogether that wishes to tip the balance of power to their side by capitalizing on public rage? the brazenness of this bestiality is so enraging especially because it is but a tool for a larger agenda and that they are so sure that they can get away with it. there's just too much lack of information, too many cover-ups. trust this incident to be one of those that will go down into history as one of the the unsolvable political enigmas in the likes of the ninoy assassination. i have a feeling that published images and stories would just gather dust in the collective consciousness of the filipino people for decades to come. i think the masterminds are certain of this. and that's what's so fucked up about it.
tonight while trying to assuage my restlessness, i was talking to a photojournalist friend on ym and we were discussing how someone we know from nujp was following a story in the area and was supposed to be in that ill-fated convoy but due to some fortunate incident had not made it to the party and was spared. but he, who apparently is being hunted by the ampatuans, is now back there heeding the call of his profession. i am gathering stories like these in my head to summon the courage to do the same in mine. and so went our conversation:
me: parang ang helpless lang kasi nating lahat. ano pa bang puwede nating gawin sa ganito?
pj friend: ang tanging puwede lang natin gawin ay huwag tumigil.
me: haaaay...tama ka diyan.
me: padayon.
pj friend: padayon.
may god help us all.
11.25.2009
sta. cruz walks and dreamy thoughts
this has got to be my favorite building in old manila. i came across it in july and took this photo. with it's chamfered facade and art deco design, i was smitten immediately. there's something so charming about little corner buildings and tall upright windows, if you ask me. i was quite worried then than it would be torn down like the rest of the pre-war buildings we were surveying for IPC's architectural heritage of manila project. it's just so sad that instead of restoring magnificent works of art, people replace them completely with tasteless boxes of steel and concrete they call condominiums, without so much thought about how these affect the character and general flow of the environment. i was relieved, therefore when a week ago, i passed by the place again to find that the building was being restored.
this has got to be my favorite building in old manila. i came across it in july and took this photo. with it's chamfered facade and art deco design, i was smitten immediately. there's something so charming about little corner buildings and tall upright windows, if you ask me. i was quite worried then than it would be torn down like the rest of the pre-war buildings we were surveying for IPC's architectural heritage of manila project. it's just so sad that instead of restoring magnificent works of art, people replace them completely with tasteless boxes of steel and concrete they call condominiums, without so much thought about how these affect the character and general flow of the environment. i was relieved, therefore when a week ago, i passed by the place again to find that the building was being restored.
it was apparent that the owners are trying to maintain the overall appearance of the building. too bad they seem to be changing the look of the shutters. i would have wanted the same pull-in ones as seen in the first photo. these give the building an interesting look when you gaze at it from below. but, i guess you can't have everything. they must be replacing them with weather-resistant ones.
indulging in the impossible, i wondered how it must be like to own that building. being the sole owner of that property would arguably make me the happiest girl in the whole wide world!
if i had heaps of money, i'd turn the first floor into a quaint cafe cum bookstore where anyone can drink good local brews, eat comfort food, bask in the cozy interiors and stay for as long as they want either with a business contact, some friends, a special someone or just with themselves.
the second floor i would turn into a gallery or artspace that exhibits the works of emerging filipino artists. there is a dearth of talent out there that just needs to be represented in order to grow. the galleries in manila are concentrated in yuppie makati and far-away antipolo. why not bring a gallery to a place very accessible to a large population of students whose exposure to art, if at all, is increasingly becoming more and more just internet-based? this will rather make tangible art less snooty and closer to the common juan. and besides, a city can't have enough galleries, i think.
the third floor? well, i would have the whole of it for myself. i can almost see it--my own loft. i already have the exact layout in my head: bed, bath, kitchen, desk where i'd do my freelance research and writing, reading futon, studio for my photographic work--the essentials. how wonderful it would be to wake up each morning with a view of sta. cruz plaza, don't you think? morning coffee at the breakfast table beside the bay window while watching the city wake up would be an instant pick-me-upper. and if i'd be very bored with my own cooking or what's inside the fridge, it'd be quite lovely to just take a walk to nearby ongpin and tomas mapua and pick up some dimsum or freshly baked bread and have chinese tea or sugarcane juice before the staff (two of them) arrives and we open shop. if it's a cold morning, the old ling nam noodle joint is just one more block away.
oh my, the joys of freestyle dreaming.
11.20.2009
vitamins ko
okay, i attempted a joke (see previous post) and i just realized it kinda sounded sarcastic and bitter. although in jest, i've been told by many important people in my life to be too serious. i can't help it. i've dark caustic humor, sue me.
in my self-defense, i do appreciate the happy happy joy joy kind of things. although i more likely will frown at it's-so-overly-happy-it-must-be-fake stuff, i do love sincerely sweet things.
so okay, i'm making a resolution to post more happy stuff in this blog than i normally would. because yeah, i find beauty in things all the time, i just don't feel compelled to write about them as much as i do when things bother me. and yes, i know that should change. i really do!!!
so as a start, i'm sharing my daily dose of sunshine. this is what i've been playing lately after i get up in the morning and before i sleep at night. enjoy! :)
okay, i attempted a joke (see previous post) and i just realized it kinda sounded sarcastic and bitter. although in jest, i've been told by many important people in my life to be too serious. i can't help it. i've dark caustic humor, sue me.
in my self-defense, i do appreciate the happy happy joy joy kind of things. although i more likely will frown at it's-so-overly-happy-it-must-be-fake stuff, i do love sincerely sweet things.
so okay, i'm making a resolution to post more happy stuff in this blog than i normally would. because yeah, i find beauty in things all the time, i just don't feel compelled to write about them as much as i do when things bother me. and yes, i know that should change. i really do!!!
so as a start, i'm sharing my daily dose of sunshine. this is what i've been playing lately after i get up in the morning and before i sleep at night. enjoy! :)
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