Body Talk

My knee is busted. more than feeling weepy from the pain, i am very pissed! I can't bend it, I wince when I take a seat, even turning to one side during sleep is a burden and i'm limping all over the place. My movement is hampered and i am worried about fieldwork next week.

What pisses me off is the feeling that this may be a long-term condition. Mefenamic acid and ibuprofen don't do their magic even at increased dosages. Despite my refusal to concede older age, I'd even succumbed to taking anti-arthritis and anti-gout drugs only to discover zero relief. I'm afraid it may be a ligament tear manifesting itself two weeks after a hard fall when I slipped on a driveway incline in front of my brothers' apartment and my right knee suffered the worst impact. Turned out many have gone down at that exact spot.

I'm the kind that rarely gets sick. I have only been sent to the ER once and it was because of a funky iced tea I ingested from KFC-Mendiola (blacklisted!). It would have been fine except that I was vomiting, turning white and couldn't sit straight inside the taxi. Embarrassingly enough, I think I also resorted to crying as an involuntary coping response. Also, I rarely catch the flu and I contract the common cold and cough only once a year, if at all. But I am now discovering that the body has its limits.

Only last year, one of my molars was chipped and upon visiting the dentist, I discovered that it needs to undergo root canal. I also asked her to do a thorough checkup and we discovered at least four teeth that need work. I was quite disturbed because although they were not perfect, I took some pride in my set of teeth. I took good care of them, or so I thought. I guess it was normal wear and tear.

Also, the night before leaving for an out-of-the-country trip, I experienced partial deafness and an annoying ringing in my right ear. That would have been fine except it was also very painful and when it throbbed, my head and jaw also throbbed. Sometimes it was a constant pain and my head felt heavier at one side. Sometimes it was as though someone had suddenly punched the right side of my face from the inside. I had my uncle who is an EENT doctor diagnose me through text because there was no more time before the flight to consult one here. The antibiotics cost me two museum entrance tickets. If I was not determined to maintain some amount of cheerfulness then, the trip would have been disastrous.

Again, for three months this year, I had been dealing with a bad ingrown toenail. It came to a point when I had to visit the salon weekly to have a pedicure and couldn't wear shoes. Now my toenails had always been problematic. I have deep-set nails which itch and ache when not cleaned regularly but one wrong move had resulted to a tear and an infection and, after many days of futile bandaging and cleaning with peroxide and betadine and constant fear of being stepped on in the MRT, I had to accept defeat and undergo minor surgery one day before a location wedding shoot. Good thing my flatmate Marielle's dad is a surgeon and even if I had to troop to Paranaque where he practiced, I only paid a minimal amount for ER equipment use and medicine. That was a bummer. I still hate my nails today.

So what next? I hope they don't tell me this knee is beyond repair. I still want to run, move through the commuting crowd with ease, dance, climb mountains. I want to sleep dammit, and I can't right now because the only way I know how is on my stomach, turned to one side with my bad knee folded in a 30 degree angle.